There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
