If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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