I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
