you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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