Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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