can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
