ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
