And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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