Its about making memories worth repressing
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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