there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
