Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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