we're making bets on your personal life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
