roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
