Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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