I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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