the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
