Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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