Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
