He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she told me i tasted like america
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
