she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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