i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
