you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
