I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
