I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize