Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
