I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
