We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize