Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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