I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
