we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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