She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize