i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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