Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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