When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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