my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
