Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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