I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
