we have officially lost it.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
