Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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