I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
