the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
