Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
