i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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