THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
