with your own penis?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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