So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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