We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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