Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
