She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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