I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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