Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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