so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
