i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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