I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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