I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
thus making me awesome and them whores
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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