i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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