i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
