ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
