He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
now i know why i became what i already was.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
