i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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