He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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