There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
