dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
